Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Christmas... a little overdue (kind of like the Christmas cards I sent on Dec. 27th)

At the risk of sounding like a heartless scrooge, void of feelings and natural affections of the human soul, I am going to admit that the onset of the holiday season brings on feelings of anxiety and impending doom. Let me explain.

As the summer days become more pleasant and leaves begin to change and the back to school commercials (that have been running since the day school got out) are replaced by Halloween themed ads... I know it's coming. The thing that for me is the most dreaded word in the English language. Winter. Ok, it's not really that bad. But for a person who thrives on sunlight, outdoors, warmth, and running, winter isn't exactly my favorite time of year. I actually really love fall. I love that crisp feeling in the air, the perfect running weather, the return to school and meeting all my new students, the INCREDIBLE east coast landscapes, the orchards, home feeling a little more cozy, fires in the fireplace... and if the arrival of fall didn't mean winter was on the way it might just be my favorite time of year. So this year my prayer was that I could find beauty in and feel gratitude for every season. And it has definitely helped.

Aside from the 'w' word, the commercialism of the holiday season brings us to a place very far from what the season is actually about. I struggle to find the balance of showing people I love through gifts that I think of them and care about them, and not getting caught up in the commercialism. This year I'll admit I got a little more 'spend happy' then I have in seasons past.

So... the cure. The things that make this time of year happy and warm. That bring renewed perspective and meaning to life.

First, it's about love. Love for family, for friends, for people who are struggling or in pain or who are suffering, for people who are making great, unselfish sacrifices for others' comforts and freedoms, for the people in our everyday lives, for people we don't even know, for people who show us how to be more like Christ, for God, and for Jesus Christ. How do we feel that love? How do we give that love? How do we fill our lives... our days with that love? First, by praying for it. Then, by acting. By serving. By spending quality time with people. By praying for the needs of the people we want to love or to show love to. I have so many great examples of this in my life, and there are so many in the scriptures. Christ showed the ultimate example of how to feel, show, and give that love to others. He gave His time and His life in service and sacrifice. He prayed for us. He overcame the greatest temptations and endured the greatest pain that anyone has and ever will overcome and endure. And He continues to be the source of the greatest love that exists.This is one of my favorite stories of Christlike love.

When thinking about Christ and what His life and gospel bring to the world, hope is the second thing that comes to mind. As mentioned, there is much pain and suffering in the world. Much of which I can't begin to comprehend or empathize with. But we can gain perspective and understanding in knowing that no matter the despair discouragement, there is always hope... through Him. And only through Him. I love what Elder Holland shares in this little video segment. Having always had access to this hope and to the truths that give it life, I am inspired and touched when I hear the testimonies of those who have lived first without it, and whose lives have changed as a result of finding it. And my favorite discourse on hope.

Reading the Christmas story during the season for some reason is always different than at any other time of year. I love this version, because it has links to Christmas songs and stories.

I love seeing it through little kids' eyes. On Christmas Eve I asked my four year old niece what was going to happen in a day. Expecting to hear that Santa would be there, I was impressed to hear her say, "It's Jesus' birthday". Here are some sincere thoughts and feelings of kids at Christmas time.


Sunday, October 17, 2010

THE TRAIL

I kind of forgot until a couple days before the half marathon that it was a trail run... and didn't know what to expect. I did not know that:

1. Driving down with Ryan, Kathryn, Suz, and Sarah would be a BLAST (even if it was 6 hours to Greensboro NC)

2. I would get the best night's sleep I'd had for a long time... sharing a double and hotel room with 4 other people

3. I would trip and fall twice on the trail. Second time the guy right behind me would trip on exactly the same tree trunk as he was asking if I was ok

4. It would be a PERFECT and BEAUTIFUL day on a gorgeous lake

5. I would enjoy running it so much, and without music

6. I would finish almost 30 minutes later than any of my other half marathons after feeling like I totally rocked the run

7. I would want to do another trail run asap:)


Road Trip!

Pre-race unity:)

At the starting line

Post-race

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Grateful

for birthdays... How is it that every year I am less excited (not that I dread it- it just seems like less of a big deal) for my birthday, and somehow every year my Birthday gets better and better? I'll admit, I do get excited for General Conference but the actual birthday part of it not so much. Why does it get better every year? And why was yesterday one of my favorite days ever? For the same reasons I'm about to express gratitude:

for the gospel... Everything good in my life comes from the gospel, and more specifically from Christ, is made possible through Him. Everything that makes me happy and brings peace and understanding and love is because of Him. I am able to recognize what truly brings happiness when I am closer to Him, when I am strengthening my relationship with Him, and when I am striving to do His will. And especially, when I am feeling His love. I feel empowered, able to do hard things, and happy amidst the ups and downs of life.

for a family who loves me... I know that each member of my family was placed in it for a specific reason. We have ways that we will learn from and bless each other. I can see how our strengths and weaknesses and life experiences and personalities allow that to happen. My sisters are my best friends and my parents are my greatest examples. I feel so much love from them.

for friends who inspire me... last night when the guys were at Priesthood I had my girlfriends over for (as many of them said throughout the evening) 'my kind of party'. There was pedicures, good music, lots of herbal tea, yummy baked treats (which I successfuly avoided in hopes of a good night's sleep), and lots of love. As perfect a day as I'd already had, thinking it couldn't get any better, this was my favorite part of the day. I felt completely overwhelmed by just how incredible EACH of tose girls is, and to have 20 of them in the same room. It was one of those moments where something you haven't understood but have prayed to understand suddenly makes sense and there is a great sense of gratitude for answered prayers and increased understanding, and a tinge of guilt at not being grateful for what you previously considered a trial. I have often questioned why despite my desire to start a family that blessing has been delayed (both for me and for these amazing women by whom I am surrounded), and had faith that someday I would understand. Last night suddenly I was so grateful for the experiences I've had with roommates and friends that wouldn't have been possible had I been starting my own family. I know that both are worthy life paths and of course when the opportunity arises, I will be so grateful for the family path... but for right now I can honestly say that I am grateful for every aspect of my life, especially the friendships I have.

for teaching... I didn't know that I would love this profession when I decided to major in Spanish teaching. I just went with a prompting to be a teacher (which came after my sister Kimberly suggested it just after my return home from my mission). I didn't even know I would love it when I student taught, and I definitely didn't know I would love it (or even be able to last through the year) during my first year of teaching. I never thought that I would actually enjoy my career. And here I am feeling so blessed to love my job, and to find such great fulfilment in it. My favorite part? The kids. They amaze me. They are part of a chosen generation. They are smart, capable, talented, kind, mature,happy, and I have faith in them as our future. The people I work with also amaze me. They care so much about the students- and they are incredibly talented and caring people. I love to meet the parents of my students who care so much about every aspect of their children's lives. These particular kids have a lot of support at home. And as I see the family struggles that abound even in this ideal environment, although I have momentary lapses of worry and anxiety over how the kids are affected and whether or not they feel loved and see the bigger picture, I know that Heavenly Father loves them and will take care of them.

for health... That I have the ability to do my favorite things despite somtimes inconsistent health. That I have the energy to be a teacher. That I enjoy long runs and bike rides. That the body is amazing in its ability to recover and heal itself.

Just after I wrote this and before I posted it I watched the fourth session of conference. I loved when President Monson said, "To live with gratitude ever in our hearts is to touch heaven." I agree:) I will try to hang on to this frame of mind.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Friends

I have always considered one of the greatest blessings of my life to be the people Heavenly Father has placed in my life. Every time I move I think to myself 'there's no way I'm going to meet people as incredible as the ones I'm leaving. And I definitely won't have such great friends'... then I do.

And lately I've been overwhelmed not just with the calibar of people in my life, but with the importance of the roles we each play in one another's lives. We all have so much to learn from each other. And the love we give and receive allows that to happen.

I have one friend who actually came to me and said 'I think we need to be friends'. And that's how we became friends. Of all the people this angelic, Christ like person could have chosen to approach, she approached me. She blesses a lot of people, even though this year has brought some of the most difficult trials of her life. But I am learning so much from her about how to face those, and especially about how to have a close relationship with the Lord. She stays close to Him and is able to see purpose and beauty and love in her own life, in her experiences, and in others. She really is an angel in every sense of the word. I often feel undeserving of such an incredible blessing in my life, and all I can do is try to be a better friend every day, thank Heavenly Father, and look for ways to pay it forward.

I have a roommate who is an incredible example to me of what being a balanced, healthy, happy person looks like. I would go to her for advice about anything and know that she would give me her sincere, and very wise advice. She speaks positively of others and if she struggles to love someone she recognizes it as her own weakness and something she must work on. She knows who she is and somehow bypasses the world's standards of beauty, knowing the source of true beauty. She is one of the most beautiful people I know.

Someone I went on a couple of dates with and started to get to know, who recently moved away, became a close friend almost overnight. I sensed from the first time I met him that he had a depth and sincerity and goodness that made me want to become good friends with him. It wasn't until he moved that I got to know him better. He surpassed my already high expectation and foresight of his character. He has also been through some very difficult trials and has chosen to allow the Lord to consecrate them for his benefit. His example inspires me.

I have a friend who is a former roommate. I knew the day I moved in that we would become close friends. I didn't know then that I would go through some of the most difficult times of my life while living there, and that she would be heaven sent and become one of my closest friends. Not only has she taught me through her example, but because she lives her life in a way that allows her to be close to the Spirit, she has been able to give me advice and tell me things I know the Lord wanted me to hear. She is one of the best listeners I know. And we have the BEST dance parties together:)

Another roommate during that same time played a similar role. Her example of service and love not just to me, but to every person she encounters truly helped me (and continues to help me- but especially during that time) be a better person.

I went to get a pedicure with a former roommate (from a separate house from the previous two) and I was reminded of how precious the time was that Heavenly Father gave me with the girls in that house. This particular roommate is one who radiates light and sweetness. When I decided to move out, it was probably hardest to say goodbye to her. And I'm pretty sure that it's becuase of her that I've become better at keeping in touch with old roommates and friends when I move on.

I have a friend who is on a mission. I would say she is one of the closest friends I have ever had. I can talk with her about anything, laugh until my stomach hurts, dance with iPods in a one room apartment in NY and have a blast, and know that she loves and cares about me even with all my imperfections as a friend. Not only is she one of my favorite people to be with, she is an example to me in many of the areas in which I need to improve. I feel like I knew her, along with many of my other close friends, before I came to earth.

I have a friend who has been a friend of many of my friends for a while, but only recently did I get to know her better. She has a presence that brings peace and calm to ANY person or situation. I can be stressed or anxious or whatever other unsettling emotion, and just being in her presence- going for a walk, sitting on her porch swing, or just having her arm around me during Relief Society... and I feel the same way I feel after an hour of yoga (COMPLETELY relaxed and peaceful with new perspective). She has the gift of healing.

Back at BYU, after I had given a talk in Stake Conference on the healing power of the Atonement, a girl in my Relief Society who I didn't know that well came to me and asked me 'but how? Can you teach me how to do that?'. She was so sincere and I could tell she needed and wanted the answer to these questions so much in her life a that time. I prayed I would have the words and the capacity to help her. I didn't know she would end up teaching me abou tthose very things, and that in the process she would become my closest friend. She is one of the most beautiful, faithful people I know. When my parents came to visit, we all spent the day together. Murr.

Back when I was in the Young Women's program a girl moved into the ward from Huntington Beach. She didn't seem to 'fit in' with the other girls in YW or really particularly want to. But for some reason she allowed me to be her friend. She was patient with me as a friend, and as we have both gone in very different directions (location wise as well as life paths) she has kept in touch and been the friend that I try to be. While she searches for truth and her own purpose, she is solid in her goodness and in doing what she knows to be right. For this reason, I can see how the Lord has blessed her. She has blessed me so much. I have seen the Lord work through her to bless me, and I hope I have been able to do the same for her. She has never pushed me away when I have encouraged her in the direction I think is best for her, even when she feels differently. I love her example of humility.

One of my sisters is in a similar place in her life. We have different beliefs and have definitely chosen different paths, but I am more and more amazed as we get older with her ability to love and to make peace wherever she is and with whomever she may be with. I remember when I was 10 years old and she was 5 and we fought constantly. I finally told my mom that the only way I could live in the same house as her was if I pretended like she didn't exist. My mom suggested I talk to our home teacher about my problem. So Brother Davis invited me to pray about it. I did, and that was when I gained a testimony of the miracle of prayer. She and I became best friends and she has remained one of my best friends since. We would play together, laugh late into the night, decided to share a room, and as we got older, turned to each other with whatever was going on in our lives. When I returned from my mission I was ecstatic to find out she would come live with me while I attended BYU. She went to another college and although that semester was a difficult time for both of us, she was so giving and unselfish. She had recently graduated from a very rough high school experience, and was trying to find her place and her beliefs and herself essentially. I had a new job teaching at the MTC, was dealing with a recent breakup, and was trying to juggle the transition. And during such a difficult time for her, she made her focus serving me and the girls around her. She continues to be an example of unselfishness and unconditional love.

One of my older sisters has been someone who has given me guidance and direction throughout my life. She started out being the extrememely cool, untouchable older sister I would do anything to be like. Then as she left for college and I literally cried every day for a month, she became closer and someone I could talk to. I remember having a serious conversation with her about moving into her college dorm with her. She told me she would look into getting an apartment so I could move in. I'm sure she knew how unlikely that would be, but she cared enough about me to show me how much she loved and cared about me. When I have had health problems or friend or boy issues, she has always pointed me in the right direction- I truly believe Heavenly Father inspired her to know how to help me. While I was studying abroad and during my mission, she was my closest friend and I was always so excited to get emails from her. She has a beautiful family. Her children and home are a reflection of the choices she has made in her life, and especially of the person she has chosen to become through her experiences. I know Heavenly Father put her before me in the order of our family so I could learn from her and have an example.

Mom and Dad are the only people I will name here. They become more and more celestial to me as I get older. Mom is an example of sacrifice and what a mother should look like in every way. She is forgiving, patient (at least with her kids:), unselfish to the maximum, completely separated from the world, and she finds beauty in the finest things in life. She spends her retired days practicing the piano, participating in book club, going for walks with our sweet neighbor Norma, writing in her journal, doing things for her children and grandchildren, and serving wherever she is needed in the ward. Her laugh is infectious. I love her. Dad loves his girls and would sacrifice anything for us. I have never doubted his love for me, nor how proud he is of me, nor his support of and complete trust in me. He has always encouraged me to be the best I can, to take advantage of every opportunity, and even when I don't choose what he would have chosen for me, he encourages me in whatever path I choose. I love how much he loves people and how interested he is in them. He can make just about anyone smile. My parents give me happiness and security in my life. They make each other better people in many ways.







Dubai

I liked this place a lot more than I expected to. I pictured Las Vegas times ten... and yes there is a lot of opulance and over the top spending and wealth. But maybe the setting of the middle east balances out the materialism for me. I loved seeing the culture (although I know there's not as much middle eastern culture here as other parts), the peacefulness of the people, and I'll admit it was nice to feel clean again and have some U.S. comforts.

The thing I was impressed most by was the branch we attended on Friday (the first day of their weekend and the day they observe the Sabbath). It was made up of families living overseas from the U.S., England, Tonga, and the Philippines. They were really incredible, strong, beautiful families. I decided I could definitely live overseas if I were surrounded by people like this at church.

I was also really impressed by how safe I felt here. There is almost no crime and public places are kept very clean and nice. And there was so much to do. I wish I hadn't been so jet lagged.


It was Ramadan and we had to be careful about not eating or drinking in public. This is right before Iftar (when they break their fast at sunset after the call to prayer). They would gather at mosques and eat together.





One of the first places we went was near the Persian Gulf to cross the river on one of the boats that locals take daily. It was really hot and humid, as you can tell.

Bangalore


We didn't get to spend a whole lot of time here, but we did get to see the making of a Bollywood movie. This was our last stop before heading back to Dubai.

Periyar


Nerd squared. I had already embraced my nerd side. Who would have thought Curtis the Cannon had one too?



My favorite picture of the entire India trip. Maybe my favorite picture of the year.



Jungle safari! We got up really early, rode a jeep (with the Brittish couple) into the wildlife reserve, then went on a 3 hour hike. I like to lovingly call it the 'leach hike'. We wore the brown sock things so we could see the leaches crawling up our legs and flick them off before they reached their goal. The hike was really pretty, and wet, and leachy. A fun adventure. Notice how I haven't talked about the wildlife. That's because writing about spotting cows and elephant poo on a safari is kind of anticlimatic. Wait, there was a monkey spotting too.






Arguably the most delicious meal we had in India. And we made it! Well, sort of. We were more moral support and adding a ingredients here and there, but the cooking class with Sherrin and his sister Sherril and their mom was definitely a highlight.



Finally, I lost the 'ghetto booty' competition. Results may have been different if this had taken place at the end of my freshmen year of college...



We finially figured out what 'elephant bath and shower' meant. I thought that meant we gave the elephants a bath and shower and wondered why we had to pay more to do that. Then the man told Curtis to take off his shirt and climb on the elephant's back. Curtis still had no idea what was going on until the elephant started spraying him with his trunk. According to Curtis, it was well worth the money:)



It was fun to scrub them, although I didn't feel like I was making much of a difference. They seemed to like it though.





Elephant ride. I was so happy we got Hari Krishna. He was hilarious. And the French couple in front of us got Panthum, who was pretty sassy herself.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Munnar!


One of my favorite bus rides ever, once I decided that I was just going to trust that speeding down a narrow mountain road on a packed bus was not a likely ending to my life.



Hardcore. Does it make me more hardcore if my backpack weighed twice as much as Curtis's? And I still ran out of clothes...



Laundrey service at our 'room service' hotel which did not have showers. Two days after giving them our dirty clothes we got them back neatly folded in newspaper and smelling like... campfire. With ash stains. It was great, the smells all mixed together for a lovely 'brew'.


We got so used to just saying 'no thank you' to all the people trying to sell us stuff everywhere we went that that was my immediate reaction to this sweet little boy. Then I stopped and realized he was trying to sell me fruit for about a quarter to probably give to his family at the end of the day. I should have bought more.







Paddle boating at one of the stops.


Our first stop sightseeing in Munnar- a little hike up to a waterfall with a beautiful view of the mountains and valleys of Munnar. These guys just wanted to take a picture with us. Did I mention there were A LOT of men in India? All the people we toured with were really friendly... even our guide who we really couldn't communicate with at all.




As soon as we arrived we left our hotel to explore and ended up going for a hike through the tea plantations. I wondered often as we discovered Munnar in the couple days we were there if the locals realize just how beautiful their home is... or if it's just normal for them. Kids would walk along these paths to get home from school. It was just part of the way to get home from work, church, or a neighboring village.



En route to Munnar from Kochi. One of the most beautiful drives I have ever experienced. We saw waterfalls and amazing views as we climbed from sea level into the mountains.

Kochi




Which brings me to one of the best parts of the whole trip: a bicycle ride through Kochi right when school was getting out. We were walking along the main street in Kochi just wanting to explore the fort when Curtis spotted a bike rental place. We rented some cruisers for about $1 for 24 hours (I know, a little steep, but totally worth it). There is something about riding a bike that I love more than any other activity. Maybe it's because I used to my ride bike around my neighborhood every day growing up. Whenever I travel my goal is to find a place to rent a bike and explore on two wheels rather than on two feet for a little while.

Even though riding on potholed streets with the craziness of India car traffic may not have been the safest thing to do, it was the highlight of my trip. We stopped at a couple of historical sights, then the kids were getting out of school and these two kids were so excited to be in a picture, then see their faces come up on the screen. I also saw three little girls, arms around eachother, and one of them with only one shoe on. I tried to capture it but almost ate it so figured I should probably focus on staying on my bike. There were so many pictures I wanted to take right then!



One of the reasons Kochi was my favorite place up to this point: nice clean hotel, hot shower, good hotel restaurant.

Village on the backwaters of Kerala


Favorite part of the backwaters tour: Getting of the houseboat and seeing these little school children while exploring a village along the backwaters of Kerala. The state of Kerala has the highest literacy rate in India. These kids were so excited to practice their English with us... and to be in a picture.

Backwaters tour in Allepey




After Varkala we headed north to Kollam then took the bus (with a minor delay on the way when there were riots in the streets and we all had to sit in a hot, stuffy bus with the windows closed for safety reasons) to Allepey for the famous houseboat experience. Even though ours was a little sketch, it was a beautiful tour.

This was the sunrise from the houseboat the first morning.

Driving in India


I would have to say one of my favorite parts of the trip was just sitting in the car/rickshaw/bus completely amazed at the driving skills of Indians. It was unlike any experience I have ever had. On a typical street in the city there were people on foot and bicycle, cows and goats, rickshaws, cars, and buses. All on a narrow two lane street with someone crossing over to the other lane to pass while honking their horn (creating three lanes in a two lane space) almost constantly. They come so close to each other but somehow I never saw an accident.

Varkala, South india


Our first stop after arriving in Thiruvananthapuram (Trivandrum for short) was a bamboo hut on this little hippie section of coast at almost the very tip of southern India.

My favorite part of this stop was the yoga in the morning on the rooftop of a hotel. Definitely the best yoga class I've ever been to and our instructor was a local who should be yoga's poster child.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Dubai and India

How to describe one of the most incredible experiences of my life... it's just not possible. A friend reminded me a few days ago that you never feel quite like you can adequately convey the experiences you have on this kind of a trip. Not even through written or spoken words or pictures. I loved it all. I laughed so hard my stomach muscles were sore most of the time. I loved the people I met. And I especially loved the moments (which were often) when I had to pinch myself and ask if I was really having that particular experience in that particular place. I think I understand the whole concept of catching the traveling bug (among other kinds of bugs I caught while there...) I got the most memorable massages of my life (hopefully I'll never have anything as memorable as that second one), experienced a completely different culture and way of doing things (squat toilets really are the way to go), and learned a whole lot about myself.

Of the 800 or so (yikes) pictures taken, I'll try to just choose the highlights

Sunday, September 5, 2010

California

...for the family reunion. Sisters reunited (but we missed you Kristina!), qt with Mom and Dad. And of course, no one could get enough of the munchkins. How do they just get cuter and sweeter and more fun every time I see them?