Friday, July 26, 2013

My job. The best.

Three reasons I would rather be at work than home sick (sadly earlier in life sick days were a nice break once in a while... maybe everyone feels that way and just doesn't express it. This past year I have had a lot of sick days. Enough for the rest of my life)...

#1 Today one of my students brought in his awesome frogs. I'll admit I was a little jumpy. I thought I had conquered my fears by the end of the day after holding them throughout the day. Suddenly he's by my side just hanging out when he could be outside playing. First sign something was off. He says 'the frogs are so light'. 'Uh huh' I say as I correct some journals. 'Yeah you can't even tell when they're on you sometimes'. Suddenly my peripheral vision kicks in and I realize there is a big frog on my shoulder. I scream, then both of us start laughing, and I calm down and apologize to Yoda (the frog, not the student. That would be an unfortunate name for a child).

#2 After telling my students about my trip to Zambia they became very concerned and wanted to write letters, make friendship bracelets, and even create a donation jar. One of my students (he has a jam business and contributes 33% of profits to charity) brought in $73 yesterday and said he 'wanted to give it to the orphans'. He is only 9 and learning business and empathy at the same time. Another (frog boy) brought in $24.59 from his savings to donate. These kids melt my heart. And so do the kids at the CRC.

#3 I get to read streams of conscious from their journals. They range from my highly intellectual, spiritually sensitive, deep thinking student who ponders our prison system, the meaning of life, why people are violent, etc., to these very special entries from another student:

"If there was a global problem that I could solve, I would give whoever that has the problem charity by giving that person 100 dollars (I have 100 dollars, I'm not kidding, it is in my piggy bank). Having no money is a big problem."

and

"Really, of course there is life on other planets. Well, aliens can live on other planets as I believe in aliens (I am kidding, of course I don't believe in aliens, only little kids do) And I am not a little kid. Believing in Aliens is just like believing in the tooth fairy, and little kids do. So many times your parents put money under your bed to make you think the tooth fairy is real. I stopped believing in the tooth fary when I was in the 2nd grade. But my mom and dad still kept putting money under my pillow. I still don't want to lose any more teeth because i want to keep my teeth and if I have no teeth than I wouldnt be able to eat, and that would be bad."

#4 When we somehow got on the topic of how many kids each of my students wanted the youngest in the class asked 'Melissa can you decide if you want kids or not?'. 'Yes, you can' I said. 'Oh yeah, because you have to swallow the seed for a baby to grow. Maybe you can just throw the seed back up if you decide you don't want it.' 'Uh, well, yeah maybe you should ask your parents about that. I think you're on the right track with the seed.' As all the other students give each other sideways glances.

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Those moments when you feel the connection between body and spirit...

And you realize why it is a gift and a blessing to be here, on earth, with a body. Even with all the pain, sickness, tiredness, limitations. Because with that body comes the freedom to move, feel, experience, grow.

Moments lately when I have felt deep gratitude for my body.

1. When I was swimming in the ocean with Jennica and Kristina. It was a beautiful, clear, sunny day at Avila Beach. The water was unusually warm and the sea unusually calm (that's the way I like it). We just floated over the waves just before they broke, swam around, and eventually got out to feel the warm sun drying our salty, sandy bodies.

2. When I watched So You Think You Can Dance with Kristina, Jennica, Kelly. Completely in awe of the ability those dancers have to convey something deep, close, intimate through dance. It is more than extension, lines, technique, jumps, and turns. It is the expression of their deepest emotions. Some have the ability to convey this, and others even with impeccable skills, don't quite have that gift.

3. Which leads me to my most recent experience. This morning, for the first time since last October, I danced! Like really danced. I was on the eliptical, listening to songs I have been wanting to dance to, and left the gym to go to the other gym where they have a group exercise room perfect for dancing. There was a guy practicing juggling and other magic tricks (I figured if anyone was self conscious it would be him), so I just took up the other half of the room and it all came back. Actually, even more than before. I can see where I lack in technique (and cardio... my heart felt like it was going to jump out of my chest) but the ability to express through dance and appreciate what I  create is there, and greater than before. I felt that connection, and was grateful for this body which just last night put me in bed, exhausted, at 7:30pm (I figure I have a few more months of mono days). And I got to dance to my recent favorite, Old Skin.

The juggler took a picture of me this morning. Nice guy.