Happiness

Someone asked me to send them five pictures of times when I was truly happy. I realized that many of the pictures I chose were taken in the past few years...during some of the darkest, most difficult times of my life. It seems that during this intense time, I have been blessed with some of the sweetest moments. Now to learn how to experience this happiness consistently, despite and in the face of the most challenging of circumstances. Perhaps this is the journey of a lifetime.

I left my camera at home, and turned off and turned in my phone at the beginning of the two weeks. While I did not capture even a portion of what I experienced, I believe I was more present when not behind the camera lens.

What touched...and filled my heart in Zambia

The joy and hope amidst poverty, illness, and 

The children...these faces (PC: Janel)

I loved the welcome when we drove up in the big army truck and the kids expectantly came running...

Then I got a little scared when they started jumping on me and I thought I was going to fall over...

The program at the CRC is so beautiful, every time. Their closeness to cultural traditions, natural ability to dance and innate rhythm. Their vulnerability in telling stories too close to home for many of them.

Gift. Since he would not be put in the 'children' category, he gets his own. I am grateful for this boy, who stood out when I met him three years ago, and who is growing into an incredible man.

The women.

When we arrived in this village the women welcomed us with song and dance. Before we left, they gave Eda (the woman whose house we were staying at, and who is the founder of the women's organization in the village) a goat, chickens, and a whole bunch of other good stuff. This was a significant sacrifice, as the village was in severe drought and without most of what they would normally harvest. The goat was a guest in the backyard for the rest of our stay. The chickens didn't make it that long...

The volunteers. Each morning, throughout the day in the field, and each evening, their open hearts and willingness to be present filled my heart.

My Lizzie! I love this girl.

Tayler. I knew I loved her before I even met her. She was a child/teenager/boy magnet.

These sweet peas were forgiving listeners to my attempted story telling in the absence of a much desired book.

Liz. This girl has so much to give.

Jordan's heart and empathy are as deep as her experiences and gifts.

I may have enjoyed some sun and reading and good company during the third hour of church...

                                     

 I cannot think of a single volunteer from whom I did not learn something. I love every one of these people, and am grateful to have shared some very tender moments with them.

This truck. One of the highlights of both of my trips. The reflection time between often difficult to process experiences is a gift. To be able to look out on the beautiful country and be in the fresh air helped me process and stay present.

Sunrises. The opportunity to meditate, do yoga, walk, journal, and regain perspective.

Kathy and Josephine. I look up to these women. I am grateful for the many many lives they have changed for good.

Kathy's teachings; gems that will last long after these experiences and circumstances are long past.

Italy for reals

Round two after a tech failure following hours of blogging. Perhaps this is a sign that I need to be less wordy...still likely more details than anyone has time or interest for:)

Arrived exhausted, Mom and Dad came all the way up to Rome from Caserta to meet me at the airport. This set the tone for how I felt on this trip- spoiled and very cared for. We took the train straight to Naples.

In my half-asleep state I got us lost about five times in the streets of Naples. Dad was extraordinarily patient, but finally entrusted Luigi to get us to our 'best pizza in the world' destination.

I mean, it was good...:)

Rainy Sunday walk to church. This was a sweet moment. I love that Dad gets how important this is for Mom, and makes it a priority to support her and accompany her not only to church, but to activities having to do with church.

Sunday dinner with family! Melissa, Federico, Rosa, Alfonso, Nicoletta, Rosella, Dad, me, Mom. Eight amazing courses...and even better company.

Dad and I took an evening stroll in downtown Caserta. Definitely a highlight. EVERYONE was out with their families.

Capri. Beautiful, but quite the tourist trap, and one of my less preferred destinations.

The view of Mt. Vesuvius from the chairlift.

Hiked down from the top of the island with Dad. I love his adventurous spirit.

After a semi-catastrophe and full blown meltdown, we made it off the island in one piece. Who knew getting from the top of Capri to the harbor included endless steps. Super happy to be on the fairy, despite the frigid wind.

Rainy and cold, but the combination rain and amazing view was energizing enough to carry me through two returns to the main square to try to figure out why our bus wasn't coming. We were in pretty good spirits, all things considered.

Hike from Positano to Bomerano. It was heaven. Even the unplanned detour, which took me all the way down the mountain I had just climbed, where I realized I had been about ten minutes from my destination. So I took the stairs...up the mountain. It was kind of out-of-body. I was so grateful to find Mom and Dad at the hotel.

Evening walk in Bomerano with Dad while Mom sat with a well deserved ice cream and people watched.

Hike from Bomerano to Ravello. Another unplanned detour took me back into the mountains. Beautiful, but a little scary all by myself.

Met up with Mom and Dad in Ravello.

Mom's 'I'm trying to be a good sport and I'm also kind of amused but in a way I'm also annoyed and he's still invading my personal space after 50 years' face.

This is usually the one that precedes the above face. She's still working through the difficult emotions and will soon arrive at phase two (above). Third step is laughter and saying something like 'bytheway, Bob'.

View facing south from Ravello.

Back to family! Got to hang with the Carusones before Marco's birthday celebration. Andrea, Stani (behind Morena), Pascuale, Marco, Antea, Nicole, Vincenza, me

For Marco's birthday, he treated us all out (that's how they do it in Italy...birthday person treats everyone out). I also realized just how out of place I was (the party started at 10 so...), and at the same time how kind and welcoming everyone was.

Tuscany! Montepulciano

I stayed at an agriculturismo. The woman who ran it with her family literally picked me up covered in grass clippings, straight from the vineyards. This was the view from my walk that evening. So peaceful.

Siena. Maybe better on an off-season weekday. I did meet some lovely people at church...

Florence. I loved it from the moment I arrived and my Jewish professor friend (who formerly taught at Stanford) walked me right to my hostel.

Firenze's Duomo

I love this Pieta, by Michelangelo.

I love his words just as much. 'The course of my life has now brought me through a stormy sea, in a frail ship, to the common port where, landing, we account for every deed, wretched or holy. So that now I clearly see how wrong the fond illusion was that made art my idol and my kind leading me to want what harmed me. My amorous fancies, once foolish and happy: what a sense have they, now that I approach two deaths- the first of which I know is sure, the second threatening. Let neither painting nor carving any longer calm my soul turned to that divine love that to embrace us opened his arms upon the cross.

I could explore the city and surroundings for weeks.

I'm forgetting the name of the little town in the hills of La Spezia. It was my first true hostel experience. I was greeted immediately by my (soon to be) hiking crew. Brandon from Maine, Garrett from Austin, Javiera from Chile, Daniel from India and more recently Norway, and Jackson from Australia and more recently Scotland. Yes, Jackson's accent was dreamy. I loved this crew.

We hiked the whole thing- definitely worth it.

Well, until we got to the last stretch which was stairs going STRAIGHT up a mountain, and then straight back down. Don't let this delightfully slow descending staircase fool you. These stairs were seriously straight. up.

Mom chose a very 50's American diner that she was so excited to bring me to for her birthday. It was a really sweet evening with them. I felt a lot of gratitude for their goodness and sacrifice as parents.

More family! I came back early from my travels up north to spend more time with them. I love these people. Paola, Lydia, me, Dad, Mom (ok we gotta work on the photogeneticism...now I know where I (don't) get it from), Andriana, Guiseppe, Giacamo

The lovely Antea and studly Marco.

I met my soul sister, who also happens to be my cousin. Someday we will both speak each other's language fluently. For now, Nicoletta is way closer to that goal...