"But I don't WANT to write the conclusion!" She stomped her foot, which made me have to consciously hold back a laugh... S is a very big person in a very little person's body. Her twin sister is rarely encumbered with anything really. She is care free, happy, and loves to laugh. S is a passionate, stubborn, firecracker with a skeptical and critical nature. She continued, "Why did you choose me?! You could have chosen anyone in the group and you chose ME." I tried, as calmly as I could, to explain my reasoning. To which she responded with a dramatic exit from the classroom and an attempt to slam a slam proof door. Moments later she returned with tears in her eyes, saying she was overwhelmed with all the work she had to do. I should have seen the signs then, but empathy was not my strong point in that moment.
I asked a member of her group to help her with the assignment. I thought I was being understanding. She refused to do it. I sat down with her and told her that I would help her. She refused again, then started back on the protests. "Why did you choose ME?! I don't WANT to do it". I don't often deal with temper tantrums, but this was full blown. I explained to her that she didn't have to do it, but that I was giving her an opportunity to get better at something she had told me she wasn't good at. And I was there to help her along the way. She continued to refuse and cry. She told me she wasn't getting any of her regular work done because she was spending all her time on this pointless, stupid Science Fair project, and that she just wanted to work on her normal work.
And then I realized... the shocking similarity between S and me. I was quick to judge her- pessimistic, slow to get out of her comfort zone, unwilling to try difficult things, unable to see the bigger picture and how she could succeed if she would only try, and trust me.
And here I am looking back on almost three years of tears and temper tantrums. Being pushed to the limit, outside of my comfort zone, encouraged to take the next step into the dark and asking "Why THIS? Why NOW? How will I ever do this? I can't! Let me go back to how things were." And yet He continues to gently sit by me through all these fits, and be there when I'm ready to even look in the direction doors He is opening for me.
I was working away so busily at my normal tasks- the ones I could manage, that kept me so busy... kept me feeling like I was accomplishing so much. When He was preparing me all that time to do the big Science Fair project. The one that put all those skills to use. That pushed me out of my comfort zone and helped me see that I can do really hard things. The one that can be exhilarating and fun and full of learning if I choose to see it that way. And can also be scary, daunting, and frustrating if I don't let Him help me with it.
Sweet S was a little reflection of a beautiful soul with good intentions, some stubbornness, and infinite potential. Loved unconditionally by the One who will both push her beyond her limits and help her become greater than she ever thought possible. This is what we are here to learn. S and I both have a little work to do in this area, but we're headed in the right direction.
I asked a member of her group to help her with the assignment. I thought I was being understanding. She refused to do it. I sat down with her and told her that I would help her. She refused again, then started back on the protests. "Why did you choose ME?! I don't WANT to do it". I don't often deal with temper tantrums, but this was full blown. I explained to her that she didn't have to do it, but that I was giving her an opportunity to get better at something she had told me she wasn't good at. And I was there to help her along the way. She continued to refuse and cry. She told me she wasn't getting any of her regular work done because she was spending all her time on this pointless, stupid Science Fair project, and that she just wanted to work on her normal work.
And then I realized... the shocking similarity between S and me. I was quick to judge her- pessimistic, slow to get out of her comfort zone, unwilling to try difficult things, unable to see the bigger picture and how she could succeed if she would only try, and trust me.
And here I am looking back on almost three years of tears and temper tantrums. Being pushed to the limit, outside of my comfort zone, encouraged to take the next step into the dark and asking "Why THIS? Why NOW? How will I ever do this? I can't! Let me go back to how things were." And yet He continues to gently sit by me through all these fits, and be there when I'm ready to even look in the direction doors He is opening for me.
I was working away so busily at my normal tasks- the ones I could manage, that kept me so busy... kept me feeling like I was accomplishing so much. When He was preparing me all that time to do the big Science Fair project. The one that put all those skills to use. That pushed me out of my comfort zone and helped me see that I can do really hard things. The one that can be exhilarating and fun and full of learning if I choose to see it that way. And can also be scary, daunting, and frustrating if I don't let Him help me with it.
Sweet S was a little reflection of a beautiful soul with good intentions, some stubbornness, and infinite potential. Loved unconditionally by the One who will both push her beyond her limits and help her become greater than she ever thought possible. This is what we are here to learn. S and I both have a little work to do in this area, but we're headed in the right direction.
