Words cannot describe how difficult it was to say goodbye to my students today. After not taking the opportunity to go on paid medical leave last fall (thinking I could do part time instead), I am now taking a leave of absence and finally listening to what my body needs... hoping that complete rest will lead to recovery of my health.
But it has been so hard. And leaving my job has been the hardest part. I was almost grateful I was so sick when I went in today. There was no second guessing my decision to take this time to recover my health. And my students knew I needed it as well. I just don't know if they knew just how much I love them and will miss them. They make me smile everyday. They bring more love and happiness into my life than I ever thought I could get from my job. I know they will survive without me... just not sure how I will do without them. I felt like I was abandoning them today as I told them this was my last day for a few months.
I wish I could post pictures of them... but not sure how legal that is... so I will bore my readers with some of my favorite things about teaching these special spirits.
Meditation and mindful eating. They had no idea how much they would like it when they first started, and now they ask me for it all the time. Kids really do have so many of the solutions and answers adults forget about by the time they grow up. Kids know what's good for them, what they need, what makes them happy, and what's most important in life. They are creative, have a great understanding of life and people and how we work, and are intuitive.
Math lessons. I love how excited they are to get their math lessons. When I told them I was leaving, one of the first things they asked was 'who's going to give us our math lessons?'.
Individual, one on one attention. This is one of the reasons this school is the utopia of education. Individualized instruction and curriculum. My favorite part of teaching- that one on one attention.
Our noise level realization. This year we started asking them to decide what noise level they want at different times during the day (from absolute silence to whisper to quiet voice to talking voice). Then one day I decided to ask them if they thought they could each decide on what noise level was good for them. The classroom ran smoothly with the beautiful low hum of kids at work and engaged in their learning. Ever since then they have proven to know how to self monitor and stay focused without the external 'noise level' imposition.
Their excitement to see me everyday. The handshake greetings that turned into hug greetings. The compliments (somehow kids just know when you need extra love... and they never disappointed).
The stories of weekend adventures and reading late into the night and random experiences they were so excited to share.
Eating lunch with them. Dance parties. Shopping for cooking supplies. Cooking together. Collecting money for Zambian orphans. Morning meetings. Talking during free play. Clean up... that they still love me after how hard I make them work and even nagging them to make the room sparkle. Alex's puberty talk and all the cringes. I and C's visits to talk about boy drama.
E and his random thoughts, challenging and confrontational statements, excess of love and willingness to help, sensitivity to others and what they are feeling and thinking, and his brilliance. The other day he said 'Melissa, if God told you to flush yourself down the toilet, would you do it? I mean, you have to do whatever God tells you to do right?'. He's atheist and is constantly challenging my beliefs in a respectful way. Not sure how respectful that statement was... but it made me laugh. He also tried to convince me that God would swear if He stubbed his toe. I wasn't buying it. I will miss our conversations. He gives energy and light and love everyday.
C and her creativity and amazing, individual personality. She has been one of my most challenging students but I was blessed with love for her and to see her special spirit. She was one of the first to give me a big hug today. She is a beautiful individual.
O... how I love this girl. She is fun, HILARIOUS, sensitive to others, empathetic, always working on herself, diligent in her school work even when things don't come easily, and has a beautiful smile. She is a mature and deep spirit.
S has only been my student for a month but is so loving. I don't think anyone has ever given me so many hugs in such a short period of time. She has a serene, loving presence. Her beautiful almond shaped eyes hold a joyful innocence which I do not think will fade with age.
K reminds me of my sweet sweet nephew Shane. He doesn't seek attention or get close to people very often, so when you gain his affection, you feel like a million bucks. He never feels a need to please or prove himself, so in the rare moment when he seeks approval, you feel pretty special.
B is the little fiery curly haired redhead who plays ice hockey but looks like she should be frolicking in a field of wild flowers. She is one of the most cuddly kids I have ever met and I love her hugs.
A... when I think of her I just think of her saying my name over and over and over again to get my attention, then talking and smiling a mile a minute. I don't think I've ever seen her without a smile on her face.
A has caught my attention since I very first met him, long before he was my student. He exudes integrity, goodness, kindness, hard work, wisdom, and quiet dignity. I would want my son to be like him.
I was so scared when S came into our class. Scared that I would not have the patience or energy or ability to deal with his special needs. Instead of my fears being realized, he brought light and love and lots of laughter. He is still like a tornado when he walks through the classroom, and sometimes needs to control bodily functions a little better, but is loved for always being exactly who he is.
A is 100% personality. She could entertain an entire room full of people for hours all by herself. From her dance moves to her confidence in interacting with anyone, to her accents and impersonations, I felt like we would have been best friends if we had been the same age.
S is full of love. That's who she is. Love. And affection. She is a sensitive soul, but so eager to share her love.
And I haven't even written about the ones who have been my long time favorites, ever since I was their Spanish teacher, like S and J. Or how much D and J have matured and become more responsible and empathetic.
They are such incredible, good, gifted kids. And I love them more than I expected. I guess this is what happens when you pray to love your students, and then on top of that they are lovable in the first place. Shane, Alex, and Jesse better be ready to be my new students and get all the love and attention I would be giving to my class. They don't even know what they have coming. Poor kids:)
